Through It All

6.28.2017

It was a year ago that my life changed. I got a call that would change the path of my life and a year ago today I believed that my life was over. And a year ago tomorrow I did not see how anything good could come from what had happened. 

I had spent my adult life following Christ as closely as I could, though I often failed more than I would care to admit. I didn't take the safe route, I chose to follow in faith. I had given God everything, and in return He took everything from me. Or at least that is how it felt. I spent much of the following months hoping against hope that God would fix all that seemed broken. That He would reopen the doors which had slammed so hard in my face that I was knocked back on my ass. I begged and prayed that He would make it all ok again. 

Through the past year there have been days which I though I could go no further. I often prayed that I had no strength left, I had felt as though I had no hope. But over the past 365 days I would wake to find another day. Though there were may days that I did not trust that I would make it, each morning I woke to find new mercies. 

This morning was no different. I woke early and through grace was able to spend time in prayer. Though it is a prayer that I have prayed before and know I will have to pray again, I prayed. "Father, I give it all to you." I had my life planned out. I had run that plan by friends, family, parents, and pastors. And it was a damn good plan. But God took every aspect of it from me. He ripped from a closed hand all that I held. And it was a severe mercy.

Though I did not know it at the time Christ was saving me from much. I was being saved from lies that came from a mouth that I trusted. I was being protected from a pride within myself that would have destroyed those around me under it's weight when it eventually fall. 

Though there is so much I can see now, through it all I can look back and see Christ. Though I can no longer tell you what I have shaped for my life, I can rest knowing that He who shaped me, who called me, who justified me, and it is He who has designed my path. And this path leads Home...'to an elder place than Eden and a taller town than Rome.'

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